One of the great aspects of where I'm currently working is the people I meet. Like this past weekend... a gentleman who I'll call Mr. X, most likely out of the Italian mob, pulled out his little black book and recited this:
so you have two cows...
DEMOCRACY -- REPRESENTATIVE: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and
gives it to your neighbor.
NEW DEAL: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
LIBERAL: You have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERTARIAN: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.
COMMUNISM -- RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the governement sends you to prison.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can't afford the milk. You wither away.
AGNOSTIC: You have two cows. Big deal, you have two cows.
BUDDHIST -- ZEN: You have two cows. You think about what to do with them. They die of starvation.
ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. You recycle the milk and give it back to the cows.
WELFAREISM (REDISTRIBUTIONISM REVISITED): You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else who doesn't know how to milk it.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.