Friday, January 16, 2009

Gossip Girl Spin Off

YES! YES! It's TRUE. Gossip Girl creators Josh and Stephanie (let's just be on a first-name basis with them from now on) have heeded the subconscious pleas of their old-people audience and will be creating a spinoff show about Lily and Rufus's early years that will be filled with old-people references and old-people music.

As you might expect, despite the fact that a CW marketing guy straight-up lied to our faces when we asked him about this some months ago, and despite the fact that Dawn Ostroff denied the show's existence just this past Monday, we are so excited that those lying, deceptive, manipulative motherfuckers are really doing this! Also that they've apparently conceded the fact that Lily and Rufus are too old to have come of age in the nineties, because the show is going to be set in the eighties.

According to the Hollywood Reporter:

[T]he spinoff will center on young Lily Rhodes (her maiden name) who, after a falling out with her parents, is forced to move in with her sister, the black sheep of the Rhodes family. Overnight, Lily has to transition from a life of luxury and education at a wealthy Montecito boarding school to living deep in the San Fernando Valley she once made fun of and going to public school. Caught between two worlds, Lily dives into the fast-paced Sunset Strip and the Hollywood lifestyle of the '80s, journeying over the hill to a world of wealth and excess that used to be her own.

While we do mourn the loss of the nineties show we'll never know (Blake Nelson–penned scripts! Appearances by the staff of Sassy!), Sunset Strip in the eighties is pretty fabulous, not only because it is more realistic, but because, as we know from Gossip Girl, Lily was something of a groupie, and groupies in the eighties were filthy. Did you guys ever read Motley Crüe bio The Dirt?

Her name was Bullwinkle. We called her that because she had a face like a moose. But Tommy, even though he could get any girl he wanted on the Sunset Strip, would not break up with her. He loved her and wanted to marry her, he kept telling us, because she could spray her cum across the room.

Yes. We cannot wait for that kind of thing to hit prime time. We will so be there. Judging.